In 2002, I went for a mini pilgrimage with my family to Mecca in Saudi Arabia. It was an eye opening experience for me as it was the first time that I ventured out of South East Asia, but it was never a culture shock as the things that I observed are something that I have expected from a Muslim country. However, there are still some differences that I observed to be peculiar and unrelated to religion.
A particular incident which I wish to share is when I was at the hotel lobby on one fine day. I was about to get to the exit door when a middle-eastern man probably in his 50s, was heading to the door as well. Being raised in a community where giving way to the elders is mandatory, I opened the door for him to leave. Instead of gratitude, he looked rather displeased and actually beckoned me to leave first. As I was in no hurry, I gestured to him again to leave first which then prompted him to relay some Arabic words in a harsh tone. Not wanting to further aggravate the situation, I went out, having no idea what happened earlier on.
I only got my answer 8 years later while I was watching a documentary called ‘Secrets of body language’, where 2 middle-eastern politicians were shown jostling to each other at the door. The reason was that their culture dictates that the most important person should leave last. Only then it struck me that the person who was at the hotel entrance almost a decade ago, might be a prominent VIP. Up to this day, I am still surprised on how different their culture is from us despite sharing the same faith, and not to mention their way on reflecting someone’s status. Nevertheless, I will still stick to what I was I taught- giving way to the elders.
Hi Fahmi!
ReplyDeleteThat is something really interesting! I think Singapore government has done well in programming us to be able to "give up your seat to the elderly". I think the same thing happens here as well when we see some foreigners(and locals) desperately trying to be the first to enter the MRT, only to receive glares and frowns from other passengers. =D
Hi Fahmi,
ReplyDeleteYou know, sometimes, if you stick to your beliefs too adamantly, you might end up getting killed for it! Whether it is worth your life or not is another matter but what I want to say is that I think flexibility is imperative when it comes to dealing in foreign culture.
For me, I always watch out for a difference in culture when I tour. It is important because "one man's meat is another man's poison". What you think is right in the comfort of home could be a form of disrespect or lewd in another culture as pointed out by you.
I'm not saying you should compromise on your beliefs but perhaps you could find ways to go around the situation without bending your beliefs too much - go figure!
Elaine
Hello Fahmi!:)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your experience and your "enlightenment" with us!:) I get to know another thing more about the Saudi Arabia culture after reading your post and would take note of that if I have a chance to interact with them in the future.
I believe it is very important to do a "little research" on the fundamentals of the country we are going to when we are travelling! If not the cultural shock may end up as a less pleasant experience.
For us, giving way to another, especially if the he/she is an elderly, we are showing them our respect for them and an act of courtesy. However, it is a total opposite over there and became an act of disrespect instead. There are really much for us to learn and appreciate other cultures. I guess another example would be the way the Japanese eat their food as compared to some other country like for instance Singapore. In Japan, if the food is very delicious, they will slurp the food down very loudly and fast! I heard the louder the "slurps", it would mean that the food is more yummy! "Slurps" is a way of showing an appreciation to the nice food served. However, in Singapore, I believe if anyone of us would to "slurps" loudly in an eatery/especially in a restaurant, the rest of the customers eating there would probably give us a disgusted or displeased look and secretly thinking that we are so unrefined or simply too hungry that we do not care for our image! haha :)
Hi Fahmi!
ReplyDeleteReading your blog post enables me to learn a new culture about middle eastern countries. It is really interesting to know that they have such practice.
I think that I agree with you in sticking to the principle of respecting the elderly. It applies to most of the countries. Korea and Japan are examples of asian countries which strongly adhere to this principle of respecting the elderly. Nevertheless, we must still be careful and might not practice this when we are in country like middle east. It can be forgiven when you do not know about their culture but if you know about it and do not practice in their way then it is not really advisable as you may aggravate the local people there.
I think you also practice your EQ principles of being emotionally intelligent. After you observe from the face and the tone of the man, at least you did not stubbornly stick to your principle and left the room instead It is very important to be sensitive to the emotions of people around us.
I enjoy reading this blog post :)
Hi Fahmi,
ReplyDeleteI read your post with all of my interest and curiosity. It's short, though, it really enlightens me. Without full understanding the culture in other places, we may create misunderstanding without any awareness. If I have chance to go to some other places, I will read some books about that place first to know what is "do" and what is "don't". It will help us get to know the place we are going in order for us to minimize the mistakes we can make.
If I were you in that case, I would definitely act like you did as I couldn't think of any possible solutions. We asked the people to come out first twice, in case they didn't want to do so, we came first =D.